Not Much to Say

Things have been incredibly quiet around here, mostly because I just haven’t found that I’ve had very much to say.  I’ve been in a state of extreme laziness with the exception of preparing for the party we had on Halloween.  The only thing I’ve been motivated to do beyond the daily necessities is to waste enormous amounts of time playing a stupid game.

I did scrounge up the energy to participate in an online ritual with my sisters by choice.  It was by far one of the most emotional rituals I’ve ever been a part of, either alone or with others.  I nearly canceled because I was so worn out from the party and preparations for it, that I didn’t think I’d have the energy to join in.  Thankfully, the Universe decided that I wasn’t going to be allowed to make excuses to avoid doing what I needed the most.

It seems as though the Universe isn’t quite done with shoving me in the direction She wants me to go.  I’ve been getting some pretty heavy duty shoves towards getting off my lazy butt and getting creative, especially with creating things for the shop.  It is a good thing, too.  Being lazy was starting to get really boring.

 

Blah!

It is beginning to look like a repeat of earlier this year.  I once again have the never ending cough that is keeping me feeling like ick.  I’ve already been to the doctor twice and will probably be going again in the next day or so if I’m still not feeling better.

Even though I’ve been sick, I managed to get all the materials I needed and my Halloween costume made.  It is pretty versatile, so I haven’t completely settled in on what I’m going to be, either a witch or a vampire.  At the moment, I’m leaning more towards the vampire so I can fit in with Hubby’s vampire costume.

I’ve also managed to get a Halloween party planned and invitations mostly passed out.  We are doing this mainly for the kids because the holiday falls on a Saturday this year and figured we’d actually have the time to set up for it.  Hopefully it will be as fun and exciting as we think it is going to be.  Along with the party, we are setting up a haunted garage for the trick-or-treaters.

Halloween is probably one of my favorite holidays and I tend to go all out for it.  We didn’t do much last year because it was right after my MIL passed away and none of us had much to give to the celebration.  As long as everyone is actually healthy, it should be a wonderful time.

Now if I could just get up the energy to do something other than be lazy like I have been the last several days, I could actually begin to enjoy the fact that it feels like winter and we are barely into fall. *sigh*

 

October Sale!

Shades of Midnight will be having a sale for the month of October.  All products will be on sale for 10% off from October 1st through November 1st.

 

Work and Stuff

It is almost the end of September and I’m sitting here wondering where it went.  I cannot believe that my kids have been back in school for a month now.  It kind of feels like I’ve slept through the entire month.

I’m sure part of that is because I’ve been sick.  Again.  The kids hadn’t even been in school for a whole week when my daughter brought something home.  For her, it was very short lived, barely lasting the night.  For me, I had something flu like for a week before it settled into my chest and turned into a cough that won’t go away.

The rest is probably due to being really busy with getting Pagan Journeys up and running.  We have been really pleased with how smoothly that has been going.  It is still pretty small, but we are getting new members every day so we are growing pretty quickly.

There hasn’t been much going on on the work front.  I just haven’t had much time to sit down and create anything lately.  There also hasn’t been time to continue the product features I’d been posting here.  Between getting settled back into the school routine with the kids, being sick and  Pagan Journeys there hasn’t been much time left for anything else.

I did run into a work issue the other day.  I discovered that someone had taken several of my stone associations and posted them on their blog.  That in itself wouldn’t have bothered me if the poster had given me credit and linked back to my site, but they didn’t.  They had posted the material without any citations and gave the appearance that they’d written the associations themselves.

It came as a bit of a shock to see my work posted somewhere else like that.  I have spent the last year and a half or better getting all of that written.  I didn’t copy anyone elses work.  What was written was done from my own research and experience.  Some of the stones that I’ve written associations for were for stones that I couldn’t find elsewhere, so had nothing to go on but my own intuition and experience.

After finding that post, I discussed the issue with several friends.  One pointed out the fact that a lot of people just don’t think about the fact that someone actually put work into material that is copyrighted.  It is easy enough to see that and understand it, but it really didn’t make me feel any better about it.

I ended up having to send them an email asking them to either post credit for the material or remove it.  It was hard.  I don’t like being difficult, but at the same time, I have to protect what I’ve worked so hard to create.  Yes, it was created in an effort to help others, but having it posted on my website is really no different than having it published in a book.  Just as I would expect it to be wrong for someone to republish a book under a different author, it is wrong to republish what I’ve written.   Ah, the joys of being a business owner.

 

More Nature and Friends

I finally got some of the more recent photos off my camera. The first are just some random shots.

Sunset by FoxChild 2009

Hawk in Flight by FoxChild 2009

August Full Moon by FoxChild

These are my baby deer friends that have been coming around lately. Two babies and mom watching from nearby. The first one I got of just one of the babies when it was farther out a couple of days before the last three shots were taken.

Baby Deer by FoxChild 2009

Baby Deer by FoxChild 2009

Baby Deer by FoxChild 2009

Mama Deer by FoxChild 2009

 

Personal Responsibility and Respect

The last week or so has had a few incidents that have me really thinking, about a lot of things, but mostly about taking responsibility for our own actions and respect.

I’d like to think that I do a pretty good job taking responsibility for my actions, my choices and how I interact with the world around me, so it always comes as a shock when other people do not do the same. I am really kind of floored by how many people don’t. I am even more so when they out and out blame or put the responsibility for those actions on another, especially when it is blatantly obvious where the responsibility should lie.

It seems that this attitude is also really closely related to a lack of respect for others, including a feeling of not needing to abide by rules or common courtesy, a feeling as though they are somehow special or better than others and deserve special treatment. I have seen it manifest in a complete lack of regard for personal property and space as well as blatant rudeness and passive aggressive attempts to make the other person involved feel responsible for something they aren’t responsible for. I think you can often pick these people out rather easily when on the road because they will display the whole “I own the road” kind of an attitude that usually ends up in a road rage incident due to some assumed slight from another motorist.

As much as I’d like to rant over every little detail of each event, I realize that they really aren’t important. What is important is what I have learned from these two events. I learned that it doesn’t matter what you say, how you say it or how angry or nice you are about it. The people with this particular mindset are not ever going to see it from your perspective because they believe so strongly that they can do no wrong.

I have learned that it is a complete waste of my breath or energy to try and explain my side of things in an effort to reach common ground and understanding. Really, that is fine by me. I don’t have the energy or the breath to waste. I’ll use them where they will actually do some good.

 

Another Goal – Pagan Journeys

Remember that new project I talked about a couple of posts ago?  Well, it is finally ready to be introduced to the public.

I would like to announce the opening of a new Pagan forum, Pagan Journeys.

The idea of Pagan Journeys began when a forum that a group of friends and I participated on went belly up without any notice.  It was a forum that had fostered many of those friendships.  Even though this particular group of friends had a place to go outside of that forum, many, many others did not.  Four of us decided to take on the task of creating a new place for everyone.

It isn’t meant to continue what already was, for there were flaws and problems in the old forum and, I’m certain, the ultimate reason for it going away.  What we are doing is creating a place that, we hope, will be better than what we had before.

Pagan Journeys will be a forum for those on any path, but with the focus being on Paganism.  It will be a forum open to anyone 16 and older.  We have a diverse blend of personalities, experience levels, and backgrounds and can be just as silly as we can serious.  It is our philosophy that everyone be treated equally and, as long as there is maturity and respect for each other and our differences, that this new forum will feel as wonderful to you as it does to us.

If you find yourself looking for a place that welcomes the curious, the new comer and the experienced practitioner, you are welcome to come and see what we have to offer, Pagan Journeys – www.paganjourneys.com.

 

To Make a Choice

When this year began, it held the promise of lots of growth and change. That promise has been fulfilled. Many ways being exactly what I expected and others, not even close. One of the changes, one that I should have seen coming, in some ways I knew was coming but didn’t want to see it, involves my oldest son.

I don’t typically talk about the specifics of my personal life on here, especially not my kids. I tend to be a very private person and I don’t think that you can get more personal that my children, so I tend to keep that to myself. This is such a huge issue for me, though, I feel that it needs to be shared.

My oldest son is from my first marriage. It wasn’t a great marriage, but the bad wasn’t something that you could really point out or that was obvious like physical abuse. We were just really incompatible. I had a feeling that it wasn’t going to last right around the same time that I found out I was pregnant.

During my pregnancy, I realized how bad of an idea it was to be bringing a child into that relationship, but I was terrified of raising it alone. I could see the signs that my husband would never be the kind of father that I thought a child needed, but I was already pregnant and not having a child wasn’t an option at that point. I finally got up the courage and determination not long after my son was born. He was only 4 months old when his father and I officially split.

My son is now 11. In all those years, his father has been around and had visitation. My ex would get him most of the time, but there were a lot of times he was scheduled for a visit that he canceled, often breaking some promise to my son about a planned activity for that visit. As time has gone on, he canceled more and more. It also depended on what was going on in his life at the time as to how regular he was in getting my son. If there was a stable girlfriend in the picture, the visits were more regular, but it seemed the girlfriend did more for my son than my ex did.

A couple of years ago, my ex was having a difficult time. He’d lost his job (again) and hadn’t been able to make regular child support payments. There were also a lot of missed weekends. At one point he suggested that my husband adopt my son. At the time, I thought that was a really bad idea and that he’d end up regretting it and that my son would end up blaming me for taking his dad away from him. I went to a lawyer and got my child support reduced to try and make things easier on him. I thought that it would be the best thing for my son to do everything I could to keep his dad in his life.

That lasted all of about 9 months. My ex lost another job and quit paying child support, even during the times he had a job. In the last year and a half or so, I haven’t gotten a dime from him. He has also missed more than half of his visits. For most of those, my son would at least get to go see his grandparents (the ex’s parents), but not always.

A few months ago, my former in-laws showed up to pick up my son for one of his father’s regular visits. I didn’t know they were getting him as I hadn’t heard from my ex. I found out when getting my son that Sunday that his dad had taken off. There was some issue with him being on a medication, that no one could tell me for what, and he’d quit taking it. Not having taken the meds brought about some sort of mental episode and he just left everything, including a new girlfriend and all of his possessions, and disappeared.

I found out bits and pieces from different people the week after that and it had me extremely concerned for my son’s safety. To me, my ex had had some sort of a mental breakdown. I was even more concerned about the fact that he’d been needing to take this medication for some time and I’d never even known.

No one bothered to call me and let me know what was going on with him. I didn’t care one bit for my sake, but my son was really worried and upset. We didn’t even know if his dad was alive. I had made the decision to keep him with me until we knew more. I wasn’t comfortable with him being at his grandparents knowing there was a possibility of my ex showing up.

I hadn’t heard a word about what was going on from anyone. By sheer luck and coincidence, I ran across him on Facebook through a mutual friend. He hadn’t been on before he’d disappeared(I’d checked right after joining because I didn’t want him to have access to my profile) and had been rather active in the last several weeks even though he hadn’t once tried to contact my son.

It came as a blow to find that out. My son had been worried and upset for the last several months because he didn’t know what was going on with his dad, didn’t even know if he was okay. I was left with a choice. Tell my son what I knew, or leave him in ignorance.

It wasn’t an easy choice at all. I felt that telling him about the FB thing would hurt him and that I may not be able to leave my personal feelings about his dad out of it. I also know that not knowing was even harder. On the advice of several wonderful friends, I chose to tell him. He took it really hard, but he understood that it meant his dad was making a choice not to see him. I wasn’t certain that he would.

Today, I got a call from my ex’s dad. They are wanting to see my son. Again, I am presented with another choice. I do believe that he is being genuine when he tells me that they are upset with my ex and that they also agree that my son shouldn’t be around him. I also believe him when he tells me that his son is no longer welcome in their home and that they support any decision I make concerning my son about child support and even custody. He did shed a bit more light on the situation with my ex as well. Apparently the medication was for bi-polar disorder, a diagnosis that really doesn’t come as a huge surprise to me.

All of this has presented me with yet another choice. I have to decide what it is I need to do legally with regards to custody. I want very much to go to court and have all custody removed from my ex. His abandoning his son speaks to his desire to be a father. His past actions only serve to reinforce that.

I have had to think about this for a very long time. It is an issue that seems to keep coming up. One of the things that gives me pause is whether or not it is the right decision. Not just for me, but for my son. Is it fair to him? I don’t think any of this is fair for him. Is it fair to my ex to permanently punish him? What if he were to get into the care of a doctor and got to the point where he cared and were responsible and wanted to see his son again?

That last one sticks to me. It is the reason we didn’t take my ex up on having my husband adopt my son a couple of years ago. I see it differently now. My ex is making a choice, whether or not he has the full mental capacity to make the correct one is really not the issue. He is making a choice. That choice is going to have consequences. There is no getting around that. You can’t make a choice when you are in a bad state of mind and expect it to be excused from all consequences. Just as I can’t expect my choice to be free from consequences.

There will be some point in my son’s life that my choice, no matter what it is, will be an issue for him. He may get very angry at me. He may blame me. That is something I’m going to have to live with. I will have made my choice understanding what those consequences could be.

 

Growing Again

Once again, I have a new project in the works. It seems like I always have some new project I am working on. This one is different than all the rest of my projects, though. This one isn’t just mine. I get to work with three other wonderful women in the attempt to build something really amazing.

The idea behind this project is one that has been tossed around in theory for a while. It wasn’t until just recently that we got a shove and decided to move forward and act on it. As with every other project I get involved in, I’ve had my head buried so deeply in it that I don’t have time to look at or do much else.

It is a new experience for me to be working on an equal level with others like this. Each one of us has a different level of expertise and experience so we each contribute in our own ways with no one being more important than another. One of the beautiful things about that is that no one has to do anything that they don’t enjoy or aren’t comfortable with. I’m getting more of the technical side of things, which I always love.

It is a project that is going to require a lot of work. Once the foundation has been laid, then others will be brought in to help. I really thought that it would take a very long time to get it going, but the base work has gone really smoothly so far and hasn’t take nearly the time I’d expected. There is still so much to do, so I’m trying not to get ahead of myself.

I always love to see how things come together from nothing and grow into something. It is even more amazing to be a part of helping that growth. I am privileged and humbled in being chosen to be a part of this and with these women. Even more so that I can count them as some of my dearest friends.

 

Flax Seed Eye Pillows

Next to the pendulums, I think the Flax Seed Eye Pillows are my most popular and best selling product.  They were also one of the very first products I created.

These pillows are extremely versatile.  The most common use would be for helping to relax and unwind by simply laying the pillow across the eyes and feeling the comfort and weight of the seeds filling in the contours around your eyes and nose.  You can add to this sense of comfort and relaxation by either having cooled the pillow in the freezer before using or heating briefly in the microwave to give an added soothing boost with heat.

Flax Seed Eye Pillow with Sandalwood and Vanilla Essential Oils

There are many other uses for these pillows besides just their soothing affects.  They can be used to help relax while meditating.  Used either warmed or cooled, they can be very helpful in relieving sore muscles or even cramps.  I have even taken them in a cooler to baseball games in the summer and they worked wonderfully at keeping me cool when I laid it across the back of my neck.

The pillows are made with a base of flax seeds.  This gives them the comforting weight and the ability to hold warmth and cold.  All of the outer material for the casing comes in a variety of colors and prints and is 100% cotton and chosen for its softness.  No sense in having a pillow that is supposed to relax you if the material is stiff or scratchy.

Not only are there Flax Seed Eye Pillows, but there are Herbal Eye Pillows and Eye Pillows with Essential Oils.  This allows for a wide range of options on colors, scents and energies, giving you a very personal experience.