Archive for the ‘Goddess’ Category

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Shove from the Universe

July 9, 2008

I feel much like the child whose mother just took their favorite toy away from them as a last ditch effort to try and get that child to do anything else for a little while.  I know I will get that toy back, but man!  It is hard to not complain and throw a little temper tantrum about it being gone to begin with.  As if I wasn’t already cranky enough this morning, now I have to be cranky without my toys.

Well, at least it isn’t a complete computer meltdown and I still have access to everything else I do.  TGW, I really don’t know how you are going to survive without yours for 3 whole months!  I’ve lost access to one place for a few hours and I’m already going bonkers!

I know that this is a really huge hint from the Universe to get off my duff a bit more.  I really do.  Doesn’t mean I want or like that hint or the reasons behind it.

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Solstice Morning

June 24, 2008

I had my traditional greeting of the sun on the morning of the Summer Solstice.  I thought I would share some of that with you.

Morning Mist

 

Solstice Sunrise

 

Morning Dew

 

Lavender

 Coffee Toast to the Solstice

 

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Spring Thief

May 12, 2008

Whoever stole spring and hid it back in late winter, would you kindly bring it back?  It is beyond time for me to be working in my yard and flowerbeds getting things planted and moved around, but that is rather difficult to do bundled up in mittens and winter coat.  That and baseball games were not meant to be watched from underneath a heavy blanket while drinking hot chocolate.  You must have gotten that confused with another sport.  The poor flowers and trees are sorely missing the warmth of spring as well.  They are sitting in a half stage, not knowing whether to put on more leaves or drop the ones that have already come out.

So, if the thief of spring would be kind enough to leave it on the front porch, no questions will be asked and all will be forgiven.  Your identity will remain confidential and we will all, plants, animals and humans alike, get on with the daily working of our lives.

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Hate Nights Like Last Night…

May 2, 2008

I really hate nights like last night. It started earlier in the evening, probably around 6:30, with the first round of potentially severe storms rolling in. Hubby was off playing darts and was supposed to bring dinner home with him as I once again didn’t manage to get to the store. When he called to let me know he was leaving, he told me that the sirens were going off in his area and it was pouring pretty bad. I told him to skip getting dinner, I would see what I could scrounge up, just get home safe. Right after I hung up, I heard that a store nearby where he was at had made everyone move to a safe location. That just set the stress and worry bells to crazy.

I am a bit of a freak when it comes to severe weather. I love to sit and watch a storm roll in, especially an electrical one, but when my house starts to really creak, the TV goes on and my eyes are glued to the weather. I have been in too many close calls over my life to not pay attention when the weather gets bad. I think I am even more aware of what the weather is doing now than I ever was before I had kids. Hubby and I have even joked that if we didn’t have kids, we would probably be one of those crazy storm chasers running around the country looking for tornadoes. It is very much a love hate relationship when it comes to storms.

Well, after Hubby got home and it was looking like the worst of the weather (a few tornado sightings) was in another part of town and wasn’t going to hit us, I was able to go off alert mode and relax. Unfortunately, we only had grilled cheese for dinner since I wouldn’t let Hubby go back out into the crap to get us anything else. The weather guys were calling for more storms to come through later in the night, but we decided to go on to bed.

I ended up getting up around midnight to shut our bedroom window since the wind had really picked up and it was sounding like it was trying to rip our window off the house (I hate my windows by the way). That made the room really stuffy, so it was hard to sleep. Then, around 1:30 we were startled out of sleep by some pretty strong wind and pummeling rain hitting the front windows. It was hitting them hard enough it made me really uncomfortable, especially since my daughter’s room is in the front of the house and her bed right by the windows. We decided to grab the laptop and the kids and head to the basement. That is always fun, you know. Going into your kids’ rooms where they are obliviously sleeping to shake them awake and drag them into the chilly basement while the wind is howling crazily outside. It makes it hard to convince them that there really isn’t anything to worry about after that.

On the way down stairs, the sounds the wind and the house were making were horrendous. It felt as though the house was going to be ripped to shreds like a piece of tissue paper. We got to the basement, whiny kids and all, and turned on the TV. I was really shocked that with as hard as the winds were blowing that there weren’t any tornado warnings anywhere near us. As we watched and listened, though, I was even more shocked at what they did say. This massive line of storms was traipsing through town and blowing at near hurricane force winds. Some winds had been clocked at around 85 miles per hour. I was floored that our house was still standing. They did say that in our area, the winds had measured in the 65 mph range, so that is probably why I get to sit here this morning and complain about how bad it was, instead of sitting in a soggy chair stunned at what was left of my house.

When we saw that the worst of the storm was passed and Mother Nature had moved on to wreak her vengeance in another area of town, we decided to get the kids back in bed. At that point, something hit the side of the house pretty hard right near where we were. We had no idea what it was and it was still storming outside so we weren’t going to go and investigate. It didn’t appear to have done any damage, so we just went to bed.

Morning came way to early today after last night. After we got up and moving around, I looked out back to see that one of the swings on the swing set had been blown around so much that it was wrapped around the top of the set. As bad of storms as we have had in the past, that has never happened. We also found out that the noise we heard of something hitting the house was one of our splash guards that had been blown into the side of the house, so nothing major. The neighbor’s trampoline was blown and pushed up against their swing set. Hubby called right after he left to tell me that a small tree in a neighboring house had blown over, another house had had all of their patio furniture blow UP a hill and across the street while another house had had their trampoline demolished by the winds. He called again when he got to work and told me that just outside his office building there were a couple of large trees, 6 inches in diameter and bigger, that had just been snapped off a few feet from the ground, just completely broken in half.

I guess if all I lost in last night’s round of temper tantrums was a few hours of sleep, then I can consider myself extremely lucky. I have yet to turn on the news to see how bad the damage was in other parts of the city. I just hope that the Goddess decided to spare them as she has me.

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Signs of Life

April 6, 2008

It was an amazingly beautiful day today and I managed to get out and get a few pics of my new little blooms.  Spring has FINALLY arrived!!

I think I managed to capture a tiny wisp of a spider web in this one.  I didn’t notice it until I got the images downloaded off of my camera.  It was unintentional, but I really like the look of it in the sunlight.

 

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Moment of Calm

April 3, 2008

Today is one of those days to sit snuggled with a blanket, a book and a cup of coffee.  It is a dark, rainy day.  It isn’t a heavy rain or stormy day, but we have had a brief moment with a bit of thunder or lightening and the rain has been pretty calm.  The perfect kind of weather to encourage all of my newly budding and leafing flowers and bushes to continue to come out of their winter hibernation.

This is probably one of the first moments since I decided to start work on the Shades of Midnight site that I have had this kind of opportunity to just sit for a while.  I am in one of those periods where I am waiting for other things to happen before I can continue forward on this little adventure.  It is a much needed and appreciated break from the almost non-stop work I’ve been doing.

The quietness of the day so far has been relaxing.  I’ve been able to sit and watch the rain on the window and listen to its soft patter on the side of the house.  Even though there are things that I should probably be doing today, like laundry, I think it can wait until tomorrow.  Today, I am going to bask in this moment of calm and just enjoy the simple beauty of being.

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Being Lazy

February 20, 2008

There are some days that just need to be lazy days.  My lazy day started yesterday afternoon when my poor tummy decided it didn’t like me very well (or rather it didn’t like what I had for lunch).  I had spent the last several days working almost constantly either for real work or for getting some much needed organizing done around the house.

Obviously the Universe decided that I had worked enough for now and it was time for a break. So for the rest of the afternoon I was completely lazy.  I didn’t do any of the things that I needed to do around the house.  I just snuggled on the couch with a cozy blanket and vegged in front of the TV.

It is interesting.  I thought for sure that having a lazy afternoon would lead to a night of not sleeping well because I hadn’t been very active during the day, but I actually slept better than I have in days.  I woke up feeling more refreshed that I have for a long time.  It was obviously something that I needed to do.  Funny how the Universe works that way.

Now, I am not back to 100% yet today.  My tummy still occasionally growls at me loud enough to get my attention as if to say “Oh, no!  I’m not letting you even think of putting that in your mouth!  If you do, I WILL make you regret it!”  Needless to say, I am listening and because I trust the wisdom of my tummy and the Universe, today will be another lazy day.  I just wish that the Universe would get in sync with my book buying frenzies and give me my day off when I had something new to read!

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Got to love it!

January 28, 2008

You’ve just got to love it when the Universe speaks up so loud and clear you can’t help but listen.  Spider came to visit with me in my dreams last night.  She is one of my totems and one that I am still not totally comfortable with since I really dislike spiders in general, but she is the one that speaks the most loudly.

Her message…

“Spider is the symbol for the infinite possibilities of creation.” And “It is typically human to get caught in the polarity of good or bad fortune without realizing that we can change it at any time. If we are not decisive enough about changing our lots in life, we may end up being consumed by our fears and limitations.”

So basically, I am on the right track.  By confronting my fears, I have opened the door to infinite possibilities.  That and get off my butt and start creating, not just physical creations but creating my story of life.  When you get a message that clear from the Goddess, you dare not ignore it!

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Reclaiming

January 8, 2008

Today I choose to reclaim this blog, this space, as mine.  I choose to reclaim it for the purpose it began with, a place where I can put my thoughts, feelings, awakenings and any other spiritual or mundane occurrences that I feel have an impact on my life.

There have been so many things that have happened over the last year.  So many things that have pulled me in so many directions that I lost sight of what was truly important to me.  With the changing of the new year, many other changes have been occurring as well.  When it all began, I was so buried under my feelings and reactions to those changes to really be able to see.  Now that much of the hurt and anger and loss have begun to settle and calm, I am able to see things from a perspective that isn’t clouded or obscured.

In the last year, there was so much that was new and growing and expanding and changing.    In beginning to explore myself in a more honest way, I began so many things.  I started this blog.  I started a graphics business.  I brought new people into my life and created a space that was to nurture and hold those people close.  I found my voice again.  It all started with me honestly looking at what my needs were and doing what I needed to meet those needs.  It felt good.  That wasn’t something that I had allowed myself to ever really do.

As time went on and things continued to grow and change, I got lost in it all.  As a dominate mother archetype, it is the core of my nature to take care of others.  To provide for their needs.  This is both a wonderful thing and a very harmful thing.  While being lost in the chaos of the newness and changes, I forgot how to take care of my needs.  I allowed the needs of others to be heard and taken care of over my own. 

With this changing of the year and the recent emotional upheaval, I am now able to see through to the truth again.  I am seeing where my priorities have been turned around and upside down.  I am seeing that I have a lot to learn in using my voice so that it is heard.  I am seeing the new changes that need to be made in my life so that I can continue to grow, but in a healthy way.

As my vision has cleared through the turmoil that ended out last year with a bang, I have been able to begin to make the changes needed.  I am letting go of a few old ideas, a few old ambitions, and a few dreams to make room for the new.  Some things aren’t being let go, but cleansed and revamped.  Others, like this blog, are being reclaimed.

Today, I choose to honor myself and my needs, to honor the perfectly imperfect being that I am.  I choose to care for my emotional health along with my physical and spiritual health.  Today, I choose new growth over stagnation.  Today, I choose to see the beauty and the blessing that is my life.  Today, I choose.

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Changing Colors

October 8, 2007

My world has been overflowing with beauty and color and change lately.  It is not entirely the riotous changing beauty of the season in the outer world.  It is also from within, within myself and others.  It is a change, a promise, in everyone I come across, whether I know them well or not.

Just as I see the leaves beginning to tinge the russets and golds of autumn, I see the inner glow, the beauty of soul, in others taking on these same vibrantly gorgeous hues.  I wonder…  What color is your soul today?  I think mine must be a deep burnt orange, burned by the cooling heat of the autumn sun.